


Something About Him

by uwu_yeol



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bad Parents, Cigarettes, Fluff, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Personal Growth, Popular Chanyeol, Soft Park Chanyeol, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, bad boy baekhyun, but he's really just a softie okie, mild description of blood, not the main characters tho, only a little angst, pretty chill tho, soft, supportive friends, underaged drinking smh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28771944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwu_yeol/pseuds/uwu_yeol
Summary: Chanyeol wouldn't have thought that the mysterious guy he bumped into would be the same one who breaks down his walls, and helps him find love again.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 14
Kudos: 36
Collections: My's Marked Read Cb's





	Something About Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [baekilui](https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekilui/gifts).



> hello! this is the first thing i've posted this year and i'm so happy that it's a gift for someone else!  
> to the loml, baekilui, here is that bad boy baek that i promised hehe <33 thank you for everything, and happy birthday 🥺💖

It’s three in the morning and the city is asleep, but Baekhyun didn’t care. He revs up the engine, the noise echoing through the narrow alleyway. But, then again, he couldn’t give a shit. His mind is whirring as he laughs, laughs at the skyscrapers looming over him. He laughs at his existence, how little he can do in this big, scary world. He laughs at the fickle thing that is fate and how maybe he can do things he wants and change his destiny. He laughs because this is when he is happy, when he is free. When he can be Byun Baekhyun and not the kind of person people want him to be. He is just that. Byun Baekhyun. And he is fearless. Clutching the handgrip, his foot hovers off the ground with that lazy smirk already tugging at his lips. _Three, two, one._

_BEEP!_

_BEEP!_

_BEEP!_

“Oh my God, shut the fuck up!” Chanyeol pulls the pillow over his head, hoping his alarm will snooze by itself. It doesn’t.

_BEEP!_

_BEEP!_

_BEEP!_ _  
_ He yells at particularly nothing before he turns off his alarm and slumps back into bed with a sigh. Another day. 

When he walks into the kitchen, he greets his mom enthusiastically, but she barely acknowledges his presence, opting to throw him a glare. Chanyeol frowns, refraining from flipping her off, and grabs an apple, a bottle of water, and his backpack before stepping out the door into the blinding sunshine. A skip in his step, a smile to the old lady next door, a coo at the dog being walked. It's a wonderful life, right?

Chanyeol's gaze lingers on Jongin, who is beckoning him over from down the hall. Kyungsoo’s next to him, shaking his head at the way Chanyeol trips over his own feet as he hurries over to them. Not noticing where he is walking, Chanyeol bumps into someone almost a head shorter than him with an _oof_. 

“Aren't you supposed to see clearly when you're a giant? _God_.” The guy rubs his head that had smacked into Chanyeol's chest. “Why is your chest so solid?"

Chanyeol stares at the guy in front of him. How has he not noticed him before? Clad in the skinniest black jeans and a graphic shirt that looked five sizes too big, a gorgeous stranger glares at him. Chanyeol's eyes travel from his long dark hair with streaks of red to the ring that resided in the corner of his lip, right next to a tiny mole. _Hot_ is the only word that comes to his mind as he captures it all, but before he can say it out loud he remembers a question was being asked. Chanyeol almost stutters but he catches himself, choosing to flash a smile.

"I work out, sweetheart. Wanna see?" He goes to lift his shirt but the stranger grabs his wrist.

A sneer is thrown his way. "No thanks, _sweetheart._ " And then the stranger’s walking away, taking a cigarette from his back pocket and slipping it between his lips. Once he's out of sight, Chanyeol exhales heavily and walks towards his friends, hoping nobody saw him lose his cool.

  
  


Baekhyun heads towards the back of the school, climbing the stairs that led to the rooftop. He sits there, knees pulled to his chest as he takes a lazy drag from the cigarette, the smoke clouding his face. The October air is dry and gloomy. He sighs. Stupid douches need to know their place in society. Park Chanyeol is no different. Take any generic love interest from any romcom and that's him. Social and studious. Perfect and pristine. If only people like him had actual layers to themselves. He places the cigarette between his lips again and breathes in slowly, letting his lungs soak it all up before he exhales.

~~~

Chanyeol didn’t see that guy for the rest of the week. Too busy dealing with others, he had completely forgotten about everything else. He was eating lunch that noon, staring at his plate. Kyungsoo wouldn't shut up about Jongin not eating enough, fussing about his diet. Chanyeol watches them longingly.

"Hey, Yeol, you okay?" Jongin says, ignoring Kyungsoo who looks absolutely livid.

Chanyeol sighs. "Do you think I'll ever fall in love like you two?"

Jongin shakes his head, which earns a smack to the arm from Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo's gaze softens when he looks back to Chanyeol. "Oh, of course you will. You just need to show your real self to them." He reaches across the table to pat his hand. "All the flaws and insecurities. Someone who can listen to your story and tell you their own."

"Sometimes, I feel like no matter how hard I try, nobody would want to be with me."

Kyungsoo frowns at the thought. “Chanyeol, the right person will want to understand you wholly."

Chanyeol sighs, playing with the food on his plate. _When will that ever happen?_

He was walking to class alone on a Wednesday when he saw him again. This time, the guy was wearing a large floral tee with those skinny black jeans. And of course, the impeccable makeup over his eyes. Eyes that seemed to be staring back at him amusingly. Chanyeol almost bumped into a trash can, but he caught himself in time, glancing around if anyone saw his slip up. He chuckles to himself, stealing one more glance at the guy, who shakes his head and walks away. 

Chanyeol shrugs, heading to class, already grinning widely for everyone else to see. Despite his cheeks hurting from smiling this much, he manages to greet everyone in the room with enthusiasm. Soon after, he takes a seat, glancing at Jongin's apologetic expression. Chanyeol slumps onto his desk, fiddling his fingers under the table.

He keeps seeing that guy everywhere. How could he have never noticed? He's buying food at the cafeteria. He's stuffing some book into his locker. He's sneaking to the roof to smoke. He's frowning as he stares at his phone. Chanyeol feels irked for watching some random guy do mundane things, but there's just something about him. Not one smile from him. Not one look of acknowledgement or anything. Chanyeol's sure he's talked to everyone at school. How could he miss befriending someone like him? He was intrigued, to say the least. What was _his_ story? What did _he_ have to share? It was a possibility that he might actually be willing to share it; Chanyeol just needed to scrape beneath the eyeshadow and piercings to find out. 

Chanyeol grumbles as he shoves his key into the door handle. After a few twists and shakes it unlocks, revealing the sight of his angry mother. 

"What now?" he sighs, "I just got home, you couldn’t have already found some shit to nag me about."

She scoffs. "Shut up, you brat. I have a shift tonight so you better fucking finish your work and clean the house before I come back."

Chanyeol groans. Her shifts at the bar were always fluctuating and the late night ones were by far the worst. She'd purposely leave the house a mess for him to clean and then return home all tipsy and pathetic for him to deal with. With a sigh, he heads upstairs in hopes to avoid his mom for the rest of the night.

By midnight, he’s finished his work, learned a new song on the guitar, and cleaned the entire fucking house. Exhausted, he slumps onto the couch, staring at the TV screen even though it isn’t even on. Not a moment later, his mother loudly stumbles through the front door, walking crookedly and incoherent words slurring off her lips. She probably gets more drunk than the customers, if that’s even possible. He sighs, relieved that she hadn’t brought someone home, and gathers her things, placing it on the counter before sending her to the bathroom. Once she’s tucked into bed, Chanyeol switches off the light and he heads out of the room. 

“Don’t leave us!” Chanyeol stops closing the door, questioning his mother’s drunken mumbles. 

“Don’t leave me with him. _Please._ ” Her words are a broken whisper, before they fade into steady breaths of slumber. Chanyeol shudders, recalling the same words spoken many years ago. Before he could listen longer, he forces himself to shut the door, walking away from the past he’s tried so hard to forget. 

Chanyeol tries to hide his frown when he’s walking in the hallways. Last night really fucked with his head, and he could barely find sleep amongst his mother’s words that seemed to follow into his dreams. He shrugs off the frustration and looks ahead. His eyes settle on that guy again. He’s scowling at the ground, staring at his chunky black boots that seem to be walking in the direction of Chanyeol himself. Chanyeol took it as the perfect moment to get his attention. He stops in front of him, making the smaller bump the edge of his phone against Chanyeol’s chest, an irritated look on his face.

“Really?” The guy steps around him and continues to walk, but Chanyeol places a hand on his shoulder. The guy flinches comically before shoving his hand off.

“What do you want?”

Chanyeol’s eyes travel to where that lip ring catches the light. It’s blinding. “What’s your name?”

The guy scoffs and continues to walk away. 

“No, wait! Why can’t you tell me?”

The guy shrugs. “Why should you know?”

“Well, why not?” 

“Because that’s not something people _do_ around here.”

And it hits Chanyeol because it’s true. No one cares about formalities anymore. Introductions, getting to know a person, it’s as if all of that’s lost in the grand scheme of things. Chanyeol looks up to resume the conversation, but the stranger is gone and the only thing that lingers is the smell of tobacco.

Kyungsoo frowns, stabbing his food with a fork. “Yeol, you’re brooding again.”

Chanyeol blinks, acting as if he wasn’t staring into a void for the past five minutes. “What?”

Jongin stifles a laugh. “What’s up with you, dude? Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah.” But, in fact, he isn’t. He keeps seeing that guy. He’s everywhere and nowhere, and, for once, he’s someone that doesn’t want to befriend Chanyeol. But people want the things they can’t have, right? And with this guy’s resistance, it’s only natural for Chanyeol to want to know him better.

A finger snaps in his face. “Yeol, are you dead?” Kyungsoo says, his tone worried.

Chanyeol shakes his head. “‘M fine. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Oh you know. The daily, will anyone like me for _me_ bullshit.”

Kyungsoo sighs while Jongin groans. “Chanyeol, we like you for you. Maybe, if you weren’t always hiding yourself from others you could grow closer to someone else.”

Chanyeol doesn’t answer. 

Chanyeol sees him again two days later, immediately rushing to the guy and cornering him. "Hi!'

The guy continues to look at his phone.

"Why can't you just pay attention to me?" 

He scoffs. "Because I have better things to do," he looks the giant up and down in disgust.

Chanyeol frowns. This is like the fourth time he's asked this week for his name. _Why was this guy so closed off?_ "Why can't you tell me your name?"

"Why can't you leave me the fuck alone? I dunno, we all have our reasons," he mutters, walking away from his for the nth time that week. 

~~~

Chanyeol finally learns his name when Jongin yells at him. It had been his fault, technically, since he was searching for that stranger for the past week and had forgotten that he had friendships to uphold in the process.

Jongin’s pout doesn’t leave his face, even as he sips on his banana milk. “You never spend time with us, Chanyeol. Poor Kyungsoo has no one to talk to.” To that, Kyungsoo nods and Chanyeol wants to slap Jongin upside the head.

“He’s your boyfriend! He doesn’t care about me!”

Jongin gasps, putting his hands over Kyungsoo’s ears. “Don’t listen to him, baby. Everyone knows you’re the most caring person in the world.”

Kyungsoo glares at Chanyeol but then he cups Jongin’s cheek and plants an obnoxiously loud kiss there. Chanyeol wants to gag. But then, his eyes catch that stranger walking through the lunchroom, his hair combed in a way that reveals his forehead. Jongin follows the taller’s gaze and gasps again when he realizes what he’s looking at.

“See! You never pay attention to us! You only pay attention to Baekhyun! Like he’s anyone interesting.” 

Chanyeol’s ears perk up at that. “Baekhyun?”

“Uh huh. The guy you’ve been chasing after for like a week? You didn’t know his name? God, Chanyeol you’re pathetic,” Kyungsoo mutters.

But this time, Chanyeol doesn’t pay any attention to Kyungsoo and he immediately gets up and follows the stranger, no, _Baekhyun_ out the cafeteria.  
  


“Baekhyun!”

He stills and turns around, an eye roll already happening as he notices the lanky guy running towards him. 

“Oh, it’s you.” Chanyeol stops in front of him and Baekhyun looks him up and down. “And you know my name.”

“I do! My name's Chanyeol.” Chanyeol grins like an overexcited child and Baekhyun tries not to laugh at the way his hair is messed up from running down the hallway, or the way his ears stick out all funny, or the way he’s out of breath after chasing him like a maniac.

“Oh, goody. I guess my purpose in your life is now gone since you know my name.”

Chanyeol’s face of confusion is even funnier. “No, no. I want to be your friend.”

Baekhyun actually laughs at that, not expecting such forwardness. “I don’t really have friends, though.”

“Okay, so I’ll be your first!”

“But I don’t want any.”

Chanyeol frowns, “Why not? Everyone wants friends!”

Baekhyun gives him a look, “I don’t even know you.”

“Okay, so you can get to know me!”

“God, do you ever give up?" He scoffs, "Why are you bothering me?”

“You’re just someone else.”

“You mean someone who doesn’t give a shit about who you are?”

Chanyeol shrugs, no sign of remorse on his face. “I just want to know your story,”  
There's a moment between where the other just stares at him, as if his eyes can reveal if he's genuine. Chanyeol stands his ground, eyes meeting his, oddly confident for one of the most random occurrences in his life. 

After an eye roll, Baekhyun grumbles to himself and walks away, a little slower this time, and Chanyeol knows he’s waiting for him to follow. 

  
  


“Surprise, surprise, Park Chanyeol. I have no story,” Baekhyun exhales and the smoke clouds around Chanyeol’s face who coughs like an idiot. Baekhyun doesn't say anything.

“Yes you do. Can you stop blowing smoke in my face?”

“No.”

He doesn't know which statement that response was directed to. Chanyeol sighs and stands up from the wall they were sitting against, looking at the school below from the terrace. 

“Do you come here often?”

“Only to blow off steam,” he takes another drag, and Chanyeol’s nose scrunches. 

“Blow off smoke, you mean. That's bad for you.”

“I didn’t ask.”

Chanyeol doesn’t know what to say to that. But, he’s glad that the guy is talking to him. Some progress. Maybe he could gain a true friend out of this. He's sick of third wheeling anyway. Chanyeol sits down next to the smaller and smiles.  
“Can I ask you a question?”

Baekhyun side-eyes him. “I don’t have a choice, do I?”

“You do.”

“Okay, then no.”

“Well, I’m asking anyway.” Baekhyun scoffs but he's smiling a little, which makes the taller chuckle in triumph.

“Why don’t you have friends?”

Baekhyun shrugs, his cigarette still waiting for another drag as it sits between his fingers. The smoke swirls around them. “I don’t need any. I’m happy with myself.”

“But don’t you ever get lonely?” Chanyeol almost coughs again when Baekhyun exhales the smoke, but he tries to keep his cool.

“Sure I do. But, if I’m with someone else, they’d make me do things I don’t want to do. I know my boundaries and I’d like to stay within them.”

  
  


He's walking home with Jongin and Kyungsoo in tow, when he thinks back to his conversation with Baekhyun. No one in this school is willing to actually get close to him, other than the couple walking behind him. They have each other, anyways. Chanyeol sighs, looking down at his shoes. Will he ever have what they have? 

"Yeol!" He snaps out of his mind rant when Jongin yells. "You just walked past your own house, dummy!"

Chanyeol laughs at himself, realizing that he'd walked to the end of the sidewalk. 

“Oh.” He plays it off with a chuckle, but neither of them laugh.

"Yeol, you okay?" Kyungsoo says, holding his shoulder. "You seem really spaced out these days."

He forces a smile. "I'm fine guys."

"Yeol," Jongin's tone is warning. "We all know that smile is as fake as my hatred for chicken."

Chanyeol giggles at his attempt at humor. "I'm just thinking… about Baekhyun?"

Kyungsoo sighs. "Are you bored of him already? I should've known. His personality is definitely not your type."

Chanyeol frowns. "No it's not that. I'm sure his personality is wonderful. I just...need to dig deeper, that's all. I just hope he's willing to get closer to me. I love you guys really. But, I kind of want to have a friend without third wheeling."

"Aww, Yeol. We're sorry we neglect you sometimes." Jongin says sheepishly.

Chanyeol waves a hand. "Don't apologize for being in love. It's just me being dramatic."

Kyungsoo offers a warm smile. "You're a lovely person, Chanyeol. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend. We sure are. And if you really think that Baekhyun can help with the way you feel, we have no right to object to that."

"Thanks, you guys. I'm gonna go inside now." Chanyeol starts walking back with warmth in his heart.

"Don't skip your house walking back!" Jongin hollers, before a snickering Kyungsoo shuts him up.

Once he's inside, he finds his mother glaring at him. Her eyes are rimmed red, and Chanyeol can only guess that she's been drinking. 

"You're such a fucking idiot, you know?"

Chanyeol smiles cheekily, too happy with his wonderful friends to care about his bitch of a mom. "Like mother like son."

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, you ungrateful brat." She shoves him right after, and even if he’s much stronger than her, her words are what hurt more. 

“Hey, Baekhyun.”

The guy glares at him in annoyance. “You still bothering me?”

Chanyeol’s grin is cheeky, which makes the other roll his eyes. “Never gonna stop.”

By the end of the week, Chanyeol had talked to Baekhyun a whopping eight times. A few times on the roof, once in the hallways (both of them pretending that they weren’t receiving odd stares), even three times in the bathroom. Chanyeol took pride in how easily it was to befriend Baekhyun, but the latter thinks otherwise. 

“You’re not my friend.”

Chanyeol frowns. “What? We hang out all the time!”

“No, _you_ just interrupt my alone time.” Baekhyun taps the ashes off his cig. “Look, Park, I’m not really looking for friendships here. I just want this school year to end and then everyone goes off to college and I forget it all.”

Chanyeol gawks. “But-”

“But nothing.” He sits down, back pushed up against the concrete wall. “Nobody here cares about their friends. That’s just how it is.”

He’s right, Chanyeol realizes. “Well Kyungsoo and Jongin-”

Baekhyun scoffs. “You mean that couple you’re always with? Yeah, they might be your friends, but do you really think they’ll remember to talk to you when they grow up? Do you really think these fucking friendships last?”

The bell rings obnoxiously loud as a response. Chanyeol looks pensive for a moment before he stands up again and offers a hand to Baekhyun, who rolls his eyes and gets up on his own. 

“Stop being a gentleman. I’m not your boyfriend,” he mutters as he drops the cigarette on the ground and smashes it with his boot. 

But honestly, at this point Chanyeol would think otherwise. He spends all the time between (and sometimes during) classes up on the roof with him. Baekhyun hardly talks, and when he does they’re just succinct responses, but Chanyeol still finds himself growing closer to him. He knows of Baekhyun’s dog, his older brother, his hatred for cucumbers, and, most importantly, his love for riding his motorcycle. It shouldn’t have shocked him when Baekhyun revealed that he races through the streets at two in the morning, but somehow it did. Because how is doing such a dangerous and reckless thing staying within the boundaries that Baekhyun claims to have? Chanyeol’s fascination led him to ask the older to give him a ride, to which the latter refused pointedly before threatening to poke him with the end of his cigarette.

“Ow, Baekhyun! What the hell!” Chanyeol shrieks when the cigarette makes contact with his arm.

Baekhyun chuckles, but then he holds the taller’s arm, his thumb running over the redness. “Sorry.” 

There’s red over his eyelids today, and Chanyeol can’t look away. Baekhyun always looks good, it makes him feel undressed, even if he’s just at school. Chanyeol’s eyes soften at Baekhyun’s apologetic expression. “Nah, it’s okay.” He scoots closer to him, and rests his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“Is your head too heavy to carry?” Baekhyun tries to shrug him off, but Chanyeol continues to nuzzle him. Baekhyun looks away and smiles. Chanyeol doesn’t miss it. He smiles to himself too. 

~~~

“Chanyeol, you _never_ pay attention to us anymore,” comes a whine from Jongin. Chanyeol wants to put his headphones in, but he’s too afraid that Kyungsoo will see and smack him in the head.  
“You two are too obsessed with each other to even know I exist, so stop overreacting.” At that, Kyungsoo takes his notebook and smacks his shoulder.

“Ungrateful brat." Chanyeol frowns at the familiar words. "We’re your only friends. Learn to appreciate us.”

_No. There’s Baekhyun too._ Chanyeol frowns and rubs the spot where he was attacked, when he bumps into the great Oh Sehun himself. Everybody knows Sehun. He’s easygoing, funny, and the most unbothered person he has ever met. 

“‘Sup, Chan,” he does the “douche nod” as Baekhyun calls it and grips the strap of his backpack. Chanyeol douche nods back. 

“Hi, Sehun.”

“Are you coming to Jongdae’s party tomorrow? I heard he’s hiring like an actually good DJ, so it might be worth it.”

Chanyeol groans internally. _Not another Jongdae Jam._ Chanyeol loves the guy, really. But his parties are full of cheap booze and horny people who grossly flirt just to get into his pants. No. 

He decides on how to respond and settles on a chuckle. “Maybe. Depends on my workload for the weekend.”

Sehun shakes his head to himself and pats his shoulder, muttering, “You’re so perfect,” before walking to his next class. Chanyeol winces at that and lets his smile fall. And he doesn’t notice that throughout the whole encounter, a pair of brown eyes with shimmery red eyelids were watching him. 

~~~

One of the major reasons Baekhyun hates making friends is that they never really care. They use each other to get what they want and then throw you away. Fake, backstabbing, conniving assholes are the only people that fill the school. He doesn't want to go through that shit when he can just be happy and alone. He stops by his locker to grab another pack of cigarettes when he finds Chanyeol talking to some kid. He's almost as tall as the giant, with a wide grin on his face. When Baekhyun shifts his focus to Chanyeol, he sees something else. His smiles are fake. And he's in pain.

How had he not noticed before? Probably because a cloud of smoke always covered the taller's face whenever they were together. He doesn't know why they're always together, either. The dork just followed him to the roof and Baekhyun would have felt like a jerk had he told the guy to leave. And now suddenly, this guy is everywhere. But Chanyeol is the closest thing he has to a friend. And, clearly, he is hurting. He frowns at the thought, cursing himself for growing fond of the guy. Even more for letting him hide himself from others. 

And he sees it a lot. There’s nothing real about the way Chanyeol smiles with others, the only exception being that couple that he’s always hanging out with. Other than them, he puts on a front, and Baekhyun can’t look at it anymore. Because people just love him at face value. Literally. Park Chanyeol and his wide grin and his tall stature. The way he laughs so attractive and leans handsomely against lockers. It’s not _real_ , though. Baekhyun shakes his head. He doesn’t want to be upfront about it, knowing that it could possibly hurt the guy’s feelings. Friendships are so fucking complicated.

~~~

The ground seems to be vibrating with the loudass music blasting from Jongdae’s house. Chanyeol rolls his eyes, questioning why he ever agreed to going with Jongin and Kyungsoo. He’d just end up being their chaperone, anyway. As soon as the three of them walk in, they’re hit with the smell of alcohol and sweat. Chanyeol scrunches his nose and ventures inside, pushing past drunk strangers. By the time he gets to the kitchen, his charming smile has been plastered on his face. Jongdae’s on the kitchen island, doing body shots off of some skinny girl. He fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Hey, Jongdae!” he grins.

Jongdae’s eyes brighten. “Chanyeol! I’m glad you came! Sehun told me you weren’t sure, but I’m happy you stopped by. You always know how to hype these things up,” he gestures to the house. 

Chanyeol smiles, greeting the other people in the kitchen. 

Once he’s downed a few cups of some of that cheap booze, he heads to where everyone’s dancing. He closes his eyes shut for a moment, letting his mind sort things out. Colors and sounds and whatever. The reeking smell of vodka, the stuffy feeling of a crowd of people around him, the pain in his jaw from smiling too much. Not in a good way. He sways to the ear poison these people consider music, letting himself sink into the mood. He wonders what Baekhyun would do if he saw him like this. He scoffs to himself. Like Baekhyun would ever step foot into a party like this. Chanyeol opens his eyes, noticing the subtle glances from strangers thrown at him. He basks in the attention as much as he can, sliding over to some guy, looping his arms around his neck, and swaying around without looking too drunk. The guy seems to be in a worse condition, so Chanyeol allows himself to act recklessly. He slides his hands down his chest, he leans his head on his shoulder, he forgets about being the perfect, pristine Park Chanyeol and instead succumbs to drunkeness. Just as the guy starts to feel him up some more, Chanyeol finds himself being pulled away by the back of his shirt. He frowns. He liked the feel of that guy’s silky shirt. He doesn’t know where he’s going, or who’s dragging him away. Chanyeol whines, realizing that he’s now outside, in Jongdae’s backyard, staring at a tree. 

“Hey.” Fingers snap in his face, making Chanyeol widen in his eyes. “Down here, sweetheart.” Chanyeol grins goofily. He likes that word. He likes that voice too, he decides as he looks down.

“Baekhyun.” It comes out whiny and the shorter rolls his eyes. Those beautiful eyes, covered in pretty shades of browns, golds, maybe some glitter- whatever it is, Chanyeol’s enchanted. He wants to wear pretty makeup too. Maybe Baekhyun will teach him one day. 

“Why’re you here, weirdo?”

Chanyeol grins, leaning his head against the wall, facing the trees. “You know what’s weirderer than that? The fact that _you’re_ here.”

“Weirderer isn’t a word, idiot.”

Chanyeol doesn’t hear. “It’s so weird to see Baekhyun at a party. Even though he looks hot. It’s full of people and Baekhyun doesn’t like that.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, ignoring the compliment. “Stop talking like I’m not here.” He flicks his forehead and pulls out a cigarette. “I didn’t come for the people. I needed to get drunk.”

Chanyeol crosses his arms across his chest. Maybe he thinks he looks intimidating, but to Baekhyun he resembles a pouty toddler. “Then... why aren’t you drunk?”

Baekhyun shrugs. “I was _going_ to get drunk, but then I saw you...grinding on some ugly guy,” he tuts, flicking the ashes off the cig. “Shameless.”

Chanyeol frowns suddenly, remembering the stranger from just moments before. “Hey, why did you pull me away? I was having so much fun!”

Baekhyun stills. Why _did_ he pull him away? Was it that twisty feeling in his gut when he saw Chanyeol acting like that with some thirsty guy? He shakes his head. No, that feeling came because he needed to smoke. Baekhyun looks at the cancer stick in his mouth. He should probably quit soon. He slides down, pushed up against the wall, bringing his knees to his chest. Chanyeol follows.

“Hey Baek.”

Baekhyun hums.

“I kinda hate myself sometimes.”

He frowns, hoping that the taller will continue, maybe to explain why he’s so different in front of people. Maybe to explain why he _isn't_ like that in front of him. But Chanyeol then goes off on a tangent about Jongdae doing body shots and how Kyungsoo hates him. Baekhyun sighs, looking up at the sky and letting the taller babble about in all his drunken glory. 

Once he’s heard the story of Chanyeol catching his friends having sex for the fourth time, he stands up abruptly, smashing his cigarette on the ground and brushing the dirt off his jeans. 

“Want a ride home?” he suggests, hoping it would shut the idiot up.

Chanyeol’s eyes bulge comically. “Really? On your motorcycle?”

“If you shut up, then I’ll let you on it.”

Chanyeol nods dumbly, pretending to zip his lips and throw away the key.

Baekhyun stifles a smile.

Chanyeol screams as Baekhyun speeds down the streets, effectively sobering him up. Baekhyun yells louder for him to shut up, but Chanyeol only screams in response. 

“Oh my god, you’re such a dork!” Baekhyun laughs, the sound muffled through his helmet.

“I’M GOING TO DIE,” he screeches and hides his face in the older’s neck.

Baekhyun laughs loudly at that, somehow Chanyeol hears it over the sound of the engine. “Trust me, sweetheart, you won’t!”

Chanyeol’s glad he can’t see his red face. He tightens his arms around his waist and finds comfort in between Baekhyun's shoulders. 

After leading him to his humble home, he thanks him profusely for the ride as he steps off the motorcycle.

“Sorry, I’m stupid when I’m drunk.” He chuckles awkwardly and runs a hand through his wind tousled hair. 

Baekhyun nods, eyes scanning his face. “Can’t argue with that. But it’s no problem." His tone is light.

Chanyeol stares at him for a moment before pointing his thumb in the direction of his house. "Thank you for the ride. I'll head inside."

"I’ll see you,” Baekhyun mutters, revving up the bike. 

Chanyeol grins. “Bye bye,”

“Go inside, Park.” He knocks his knuckles against the taller’s temple gently.

Chanyeol nods then, turning around and heading home. 

It’s once he sees the light on the second floor turn on does Baekhyun decide to leave.

Chanyeol stumbles through the door, catching his mom in the process of ripping up papers. Photographs, he notices. She looks at him with disgust. "You're drunk. An already pathetic person made himself look worse." Her eyes are glazed over too, and Chanyeol sees the three empty bottles of beer on the counter. 

Chanyeol frowns. "I'm not-"

"Shut up. I'm sick of your shit, Chanyeol." Every time she talks to him, her words are laced with venom.

His eyes get glassy. He's too intoxicated to hold it together. "But-"

"And _who_ is that outside dropping you home? Don't you feel shame, using people just because they offer? Poor kid has to deal with your shit instead of living their life. You're just a burden." She laughs bitterly, "Do you ever think that people other than you exist? Ungrateful bastard," she mutters the last bit, turning around and picking up the ripped pictures. Chanyeol hears it anyways. It was always like this. Never a proper conversation since _he_ left. Never a smile or a hug or even a positive word. He's a _burden._ He sighs and heads to his room, wiping his unshed tears. Once he switches on his light, he hears the sound of an engine revving and the throttle buzzing in the distance. He smiles to himself, the feeling of tears weighing nothing compared to the feeling Baekhyun instills in his heart.

~~~

“Baekhyun, have you ever been in love?”

He almost spits out his cigarette. “What?”

Chanyeol frowns, toeing the cracks on the roof with his shoe. “Love. Have you ever fallen in love?”

Baekhyun frowns. “I guess?”

“You _guess?_ ” 

“I mean,” he scoffs, “You’re so forward, you know?”

Chanyeol shrugs and lets him continue. “I had a relationship with this guy before. He was stupid and made me feel like shit, but I thought his anger was my fault. Stupid, but I was in love. I think I just wanted to feel loved, it didn’t matter if he reciprocated it. So, yeah, I _guess_ I’ve been in love.”

“Oh.” Chanyeol doesn't think that's what love is, but he chooses to stay quiet.

“Why do you ask?” Baekhyun inquires, leaning against the wall. “Are you in love?”

“Nah, just asking,” Chanyeol chuckles and looks away. Baekhyun shrugs and flicks the lighter with his thumb.

Chanyeol wasn’t _in love_ , per say, but he felt something soar in his chest whenever he saw Baekhyun. Ever since that party, seeing Baekhyun in dim lighting and hooded lids- it did something to him. It was unexplainable, but he feels conscious of their proximity and of the way Baekhyun’s lips look surrounding a cigarette. Hot. He’s hot, that’s all. _Right, Chanyeol, don’t be stupid. Baekhyun’s just an attractive guy; anyone can see that._

But then one day Baekhyun hands him his cigarette, and Chanyeol’s fingers tremble when they make contact with the smaller’s. The cigarette feels heavy, regretful, and everything he was against. But, Baekhyun dared him to do it, and who is he to deny? _It's peer pressure, idiot._ He shakes the thought away, pushing it against his lips and breathing in, letting the awful feeling soak up in his lungs before he coughs it all out lamely. Baekhyun chuckles and pats his back as he takes the cigarette back and puts it back in the corner of his mouth. Chanyeol almost starts choke-coughing again as he thinks about replacing the cigarette's position with his own lips. Fuck.

And Baekhyun is not blind. No matter how much he wants to help Chanyeol through whatever he’s hiding, he realizes something else. The dork has a crush on him. He feels the lingering stares that Chanyeol thinks goes unnoticed when they’re alone. He sees the giant searching for him in the hallways, his neck craning to spot the shorter. He notices the subtle touches that never used to exist until now. 

He runs a hand through his hair, which he retouched last night, and finds the giant next to him staring. Jesus, this guy is so obvious. 

“Hey.”

Chanyeol blinks as if he was caught. He stands up straighter from where he’s leaning against the terrace wall. “Hi?”

“What’re you thinking about?”

“Your hair is pretty.”

There he goes again with the forwardness. Baekhyun fights the urge to smile and instead looks away. “Thanks.”

The taller nudges him with his shoulder. “You look cute with the red.”

“You’ve only ever seen me in red,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, but he feels heat creeping to his cheeks. He looks up to the sky and lets his lips quirk up.

“Yeah, so? You still look cute.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re smiling.”

“No I’m not.” But he is. And Chanyeol loves seeing it.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that, Park.”

“Why not? It makes you smile all cute.” 

Baekhyun turns to the taller. “Why are you flirting with me?”

Chanyeol shrugs. “Because you make me nervous.”

He pauses. “What?”

Chanyeol’s thumbs start to twiddle. “Because when I’m with you, I experience emotions that no one has ever given me. Like, I’m nervous right now. I don’t know if you’ll laugh or punch my arm. I don’t know if you want to spend time with me or if you never want to see me again. I prefer the former, though. I realize I'm hanging onto you because I want to be around you.”

Baekhyun's never heard that before. He makes Chanyeol nervous? The perfect, put together Park Chanyeol nervous? He steps closer. “Are you saying that you like me?” Baekhyun’s invading his space now, his head is tilted up, but he’s staring him down. Chanyeol’s eyes flit to the other's lips before he makes eye contact again. 

“I’m saying that I really want to kiss you.” He leans against the wall, looking down at the smaller with this look of adoration that’s so cheesy he's sure he would have made fun of himself.

“So,” he takes Baekhyun’s hand and swings it back and forth. “What do you say?”

Baekhyun pushes further into his personal space, his body closer than ever and Chanyeol feels himself leaning in as Baekhyun smiles sweetly. His eyes close and his heart thunders. Chanyeol feels the older's lips inch closer and he tries to hide his smile. And just before their lips connect, Chanyeol feels something else than perfect pouty lips on his. His eyes snap open and Baekhyun’s smirking as his dainty fingers push a post-it note onto Chanyeol’s lips. 

“Text me first, sweetheart.”

And then he’s walking away. 

Chanyeol can’t help but laugh to himself as he peels the blue paper off his lips and reads what’s on it. Right below Baekhyun’s phone number are a few words that make Chanyeol’s heart flutter.

_You talk a lot, sweetheart, but I wonder how cute you are through text? - B_

He holds the note over his heart, smiling widely. That’s it, Chanyeol’s a fucking goner.

~~~

Turns out Chanyeol is really energetic, no matter what form of communication. Baekhyun spends the entire week texting one word replies to Chanyeol’s paragraph long stories filled with enough smiley faces and lols to last him a lifetime.

[Chanyeol]: Guess what, Baekhyun??

[Baek :D]: what.

[Chanyeol]: I’m going to visit my cousins for the weekend :DDD

[Baek :D]: oh okay

[Chanyeol]: Yeah, so I won’t be able to text that much 

[Baek :D]: k

[Chanyeol]: :(( Won’t you miss me?

[Baek :D]: in your dreams 

He holds back a grin.

[Baek :D]: sweetheart

Baekhyun scoffs and throws his phone on his bed. Like he’d miss him. He has better things to do.

But he ends up thinking about Chanyeol anyway. The way he was _that_ close to kissing him, his pretty lips getting closer and closer. But Baekhyun just _had_ to freak out. Baekhyun curses himself and flops onto his bed next, his face right next to his buzzing phone. 

[Chanyeol]: I’ll miss you, though :(((

Baekhyun hides his smile into his pillow.

Overwhelmed with emotions that he didn’t want to deal with, Baekhyun decides to go for a spin. He grabs his helmet, gloves, and keys before stomping out of the house. 

The rush of the breeze against his hair and the happiness that is immediate is incredibly effective in terms of getting his mind off everything. Maybe Baekhyun can let loose. He does it a lot in front of Chanyeol. He smiles more, he laughs at the taller’s stupid attempts to flirt, he feels the urge to go closer to Chanyeol constantly. He chuckles as he zips through the streets, the blanket of stars glittering over the city and the lost boy who’s on his way to finding himself.

~~~

When Baekhyun sees Chanyeol on Monday, he immediately gravitates towards the taller. Chanyeol doesn’t seem to mind, as he’s all smiles when he talks to him. He’s constantly tugging his arm and nuzzling his shoulder, a complete turn from the confident and douchey energy he usually puts off. The people in the hallway gawk at the way Park Chanyeol is acting like a puppy, cuddling the most intimidating person they’ve ever seen. Baekhyun smirks to himself, trying to push the taller off, but Chanyeol won’t budge.

“I missed you Baek,” he singsongs quietly.

Baekhyun raises a brow. “Baek?”

Chanyeol nods, his hair tickling Baekhyun’s cheek. “It’s cute. Like you.”

He rolls his eyes. “Stop flirting.” 

Chanyeol frowns. “But I’m trying to court you!”

Baekhyun shrugs him off his shoulder. “I’m not that easy, sweetheart,” he flicks the taller’s forehead, making him flinch and giving Baekhyun enough space to walk away from him.

Baekhyun won’t give his heart away that easily. Sure, Chanyeol’s someone different in his life. Someone he doesn’t mind having around. But dating? Never.  
He stomps up the staircase and heads to the roof. Once he slips a cigarette into his mouth, his shoulder’s loosen and a huge weight slips off his back. Baekhyun pulls his knees to his chest and leans against the wall. His mind settles on Chanyeol. This guy. 

Everything between them is going fast, way faster than Baekhyun initially thought. He believed Chanyeol would get bored of him after a day or two, and leave him alone to bother someone else more interesting. But it’s been weeks, and the dork is still there. Baekhyun isn’t sure if that’s a good thing. He still feels that Chanyeol is hiding something, covering up with his smooth flirting and stupid smiles. Whatever it is, Baekhyun needs to see the real Chanyeol first.

“Baek.” His heart doesn't soar when he hears the nickname. Definitely not.

“Yeah?”

“Are you free after school today?” Chanyeol’s big eyes are so full of hope, Baekhyun feels kind of bad that he spends so much time with someone as negative as himself.

He shrugs. “Yeah, why?”

Chanyeol squeals, taking ahold of the shorter’s hand. “Wanna go bowling?”

Baekhyun splutters. “ _Bowling?_ Who knew the ever cool Park Chanyeol likes _bowling?_ ”

“Hey!" he pouts. He _pouts._ Baekhyun is on the brink of losing his mind, but Chanyeol doesn’t seem to notice. "It’s fun and I’m really good at it!”

Baekhyun scoffs. _What a dork._

Chanyeol pulls on his arm. “Please, Baek?”

“Is this a date?” 

Chanyeol shrugs, “Well, do you want it to be?”

He stills, gaging the taller’s expression. “I don’t know," he admits.

“Then, I don’t know either.” 

Baekhyun holds his gaze. “Fine, I’ll go.”

Chanyeol was hyper, that was obvious. But, this guy had way too much energy for fucking bowling. As soon as they got their bowling shoes on, Chanyeol dragged the shorter over to their lane, his excitement evident to anybody in a ten mile radius. Baekhyun had to bite his lip to hide his smile. 

Chanyeol immediately starts, chucking the ball down the lane, knocking down nine pins. He frowns, looking back at Baekhyun, who’s seated and boredly watching.

Chanyeol takes his next chance and knocks down the remaining pin, smiling as the screen congratulates his spare. Baekhyun scoffs. 

Chanyeol grins, handing Baekhyun the bowling ball. “Your turn.”

“No thanks. I’d rather watch than engage.” He crosses his arms in protest. Chanyeol sighs and plays for Baekhyun himself. 

But after a few plays, Baekhyun starts to pay attention. When he’s focused, Chanyeol looks especially cute. His eyebrows scrunch and his competitiveness peaks. His hand formation, his aim, his bow legs crossing as he angles the ball. Baekhyun also notices that he looks nice today. He’s wearing a tight black T-shirt, light wash jeans, and his hair is combed up, revealing his forehead that glistens a bit with sweat. Just before Baekhyun looks away, Chanyeol catches his eye and grins all goofy when he finds out the older was blatantly ogling him. Baekhyun averts his eyes. 

Chanyeol hands him the ball. “You sure you don’t want to try? I can help you,” he says.

“Fine.” He glances up at him. Chanyeol smiles, motioning him over and helping him get into the stance. 

“Run up a bit, and try to follow the arrows on the lane.”

Baekhyun scoffs. “That’s self-explanatory. I have shit aim.”

“Just try,” Chanyeol whispers. He’s so close now, bracing a hand underneath Baekhyun’s. Baekhyun thinks the arm on his waist is a little excessive, but he doesn’t say anything.

Chanyeol’s lips are grazing the shell of the shorter’s ear as he murmurs the steps. _Pull back, swing forward_. Then, he guides the ball and tells Baekhyun to let go, watching it spin down the lane. Chanyeol’s arms around his waist tightens as the ball makes contact with the pins. 

Eight down.

“Good! Try for spare?” Chanyeol suggests, handing him another ball. He shows Baekhyun how to do it again, his look of concentration taking over his face. Baekhyun can’t help but stare at the way the taller’s eyebrows are scrunched, his pouty lips as he tries to narrate the process, his large eyes sparkling with excitement. _Sparkling? Jesus, Baekhyun get it together._

He chucks the ball haphazardly to knock down his thoughts. He slams the remaining two pins, making Chanyeol whoop.

“Nice!” He high-fives him and then grabs a ball. “My turn,” he winks.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes and sits down, missing the feeling of Chanyeol’s arms around him. How is the other so casual about this? Baekhyun’s heart keeps beating. Like, loudly. He scoffs at Chanyeol’s strike. 

Before Chanyeol says anything, he snatches the ball from him and swings it down the lane, knocking down eight pins again. He groans. Why can’t he get a damn strike?

Chanyeol giggles behind his palm. Baekhyun stomps over to him, and yanks his hand off his face.

“Stop.”

Chanyeol stops laughing, but his stupid, perfect smile is still there. “Okay, how about this: first one to get a strike makes the other person do whatever they want after.” He smiles proudly as he says it.

“You’ll regret that when I strike out next turn,” Baekhyun smirks.

Chanyeol shakes his head and rolls the ball, watching it hit eight pins. Baekhyun smiles sickeningly sweet, even as the giant knocks down the remaining two pins. 

“Looks like a spare to me, sweetheart.” Baekhyun takes a ball and guides it down the lane, watching it hit nine pins. He frowns, chucking the next ball down. It misses, rolling down the side.

“Looks like a gutter to me, _sweetheart,_ ” Chanyeol’s smirk makes him scoff.

“Shut up,” Baekhyun snaps, despite the mirth on Chanyeol’s face. “I hit more pins than you.”

They spend over an hour playing, but neither of them end up knocking all the pins down at once. Chanyeol doesn't really mind, though it kind of hurts his ego. But Baekhyun’s getting impatient. His competitiveness is definitely making its entrance, as he continuously gets mad at his spares. Chanyeol can only laugh; as long as he’s spending time with Baekhyun, he’s happy.

“Ugh! This is the last fucking time, I swear!” Baekhyun whines. At this point, either of them can strike- he doesn’t care. He snatches the incoming ball from the stand and glides it down the lane. It’s wobbly from the start, Baekhyun knows it'll be a gutter ball. He turns around before it even hits the pins, grumbling about the stupid sport, when the screen prints _STRIKE!_ in bold letters. His jaws drops, along with Chanyeol’s. 

“Strike! Ha, take that, Park!” He pumps a fist in the air. "I won!" He teases the giant, who’s too busy noticing how cute a competitive Baekhyun is. 

Chanyeol chuckles, raising his arms in defeat. And something about that lazy grin and his amused look draws Baekhyun in. 

Chanyeol sighs,“Okay, okay. So, what do you wa-mmph”

Baekhyun pushes his lips against his, so soft and small, pulling back just as quickly. He smiles, almost as stunned as Chanyeol, gaging the taller’s reaction. 

“W-What was that for?” Chanyeol’s lips tingle and all he wants is to kiss him again. 

Baekhyun smiles at the way Chanyeol stutters. He's glowing. “I got a strike. That’s what I wanted.” He kicks off his bowling shoes. “Can we go somewhere else now?”

Chanyeol’s still not over the kiss. Baekhyun _kissed_ him. “Does this mean my courting is working?” he blurts aloud. Baekhyun rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling.

“No. Shut up.”

“You kissed me, Baek.”

He glares at the giant. “I’m aware.”

“So…”

“So, nothing. Spur of the moment.” He interrupts, grabbing the taller’s hand and looking up at him innocently. “Can you buy me dinner?”

Chanyeol nods dumbly as the older drags him to his favorite restaurant. 

They're seated at a cute Japanese place, the dim lighting making it cozy and quiet. Chanyeol grins at him from across the table, his chin in his palm.

"Stop looking at me like that," Baekhyun frowns.

"Like what?"

"Like…" he blinks, "Like you're in lo-"

"Here are your meals!" The waiter chirps, placing their dishes on the table. "Enjoy!"

Chanyeol smiles and immediately digs into his Udon, messy and eating like a child. Baekhyun hides his smile behind a hand.

They walk home after dinner, Chanyeol continuing to chatter about useless school drama. Baekhyun would scoff here and there, pretending that he wasn't really listening (though he definitely was). Once they were a few blocks away from Baekhyun's house, they stopped.

"I can walk the rest of the way," Baekhyun says, pulling the cigarette packet from his back pocket. "Thanks. I'll see you on Monday." He slides a cigarette in his mouth, nodding to the taller. Chanyeol snatches the lighter from his hands, catching Baekhyun off guard.

"Goodnight Baek," Chanyeol leans in, grazing his lips on Baekhyun's cheek. "Stop smoking, then I'll kiss you properly." He flicks the lighter on then, the spark hitting the cigarette. Baekhyun wants to believe that his cheeks are burning because of the spark, but his heart thinks otherwise. _Who said he wanted Chanyeol to kiss him?_

"Then why did you light it?"

Chanyeol beams. "It's the last time. Savor it," he grabs the pack from his hold. Baekhyun's brows furrow, his hand chases Chanyeol’s. "I need those."

"You need me,” Chanyeol states, sliding the cigarettes into his jeans pocket.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, walking away. He's sure he has more at home. 

"Night." he throws over his shoulder. Out of courtesy, of course. 

"Bye Baek!" Chanyeol's smile stays with him for the whole walk home. He hadn't even told Baekhyun it was his birthday, but he feels like the happiest birthday boy ever.

~~~

Chanyeol finds Baekhyun on the roof on Monday, smashing a flower under his chunky boot. 

“Baek,” he sings as he walks over to him.

He merely nods at his existence and leans his head against the wall.

“You look _so_ chirpy today, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol teases.

“You took away my last pack of cigs. My head hurts and I want to kill you.” His fist makes contact with his arm. Playful punches that make Chanyeol chuckle. He grabs the incoming fist and instead laces their fingers together. 

“I’m trying to help you.”

He rolls his eyes. “No you’re not, you idiot. Cigarettes help me calm down-”

“And now I am here to help you calm down. As I said, you need me.”

Baekhyun scoffs. “I don’t need anybody but myself.”

“Mhm, keep telling yourself that. You’re the one still holding my hand.”

Baekhyun scowls, yanking his hand out of his grasp. “You initiated.”

“And you let it happen.”

Baekhyun shrugs. “Well, maybe I wanted it.”

Chanyeol freezes. “W-What?”

“What?” he feins nonchalance as always. Chanyeol feels heat rush to his cheeks. Baekhyun smirks, pinching his cheeks. “Don’t think much of it, sweetheart.”

But how could he not, when it’s fucking Byun Baekhyun?

He shakes the thought away. "Anyway, I got you something," 

"What." He mumbles, uninterested.

Chanyeol pulls out the cigarette pack he stole from the older one a few days ago.

Baekhyun's sigh of relief made him chuckle.

"Oh, thank god, you idiot. I thought you threw my cigs away. They're expensive." He snatches the pack and flips the top open, only to be met with disappointment.

Chanyeol giggles. "I filled it with sticks of gum!"

Baekhyun's glare doesn't scare him. "Fucking hell, Chanyeol. _Watermelon Twist?"_ He pulls out said stick of gum and shoves it in his face 

Chanyeol pouts. "Hey! It tastes good! Plus, it'll help you stop smoking, and give you something to chew on without killing your lungs." He shrugs. "You should be thankful that I'm looking out for you. I don't want you dying on me when I haven't kissed you properly yet."

"Shut up, I'll just buy more cigs. And I don't need your help. Or your kisses." Baekhyun fumes, stuffing the packet in his jeans. "Also, I kissed you just for fun, it didn't mean anything."

Chanyeol's smile drops almost immediately. " _What?"_

"What?" Baekhyun shrugs and goes back to eating. 

"You did it for fun."

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah."

"And it didn't mean anything."

"I'm pretty sure I just said that."

Chanyeol takes a shaky breath. "What the fuck, Baekhyun?"

Baekhyun notices the change of tone and glances up to see the taller's eyes full of tears.

"What? Why are you crying?" He moves to wipe the tears, but Chanyeol finches back.

"So, this is all a fucking joke to you? Am I a joke to you?"

Baekhyun sighs. "Chan-"

"No. Shut up." He exhales shakily. "Baekhyun, I _like_ you. And you're playing with my feelings!" He whines. "You're so fucking confusing!"

Baekhyun pushes his plate of food away and shoves a finger at the taller’s chest. "You're the one who's confusing, Park! None of this is my fault. Who even are you?” He laughs bitterly. “I’ve been waiting for you to trust me, Chanyeol. I’ve told you before. I don’t like being around people. But I’m here with you, right? But _you’re_ not with me.”

Chanyeol’s cheeks are wet with tears, but he doesn’t care. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you’re fucking fake!” Baekhyun bursts out. “I see how you act around other people. And then you’re different around me. Why? Why are you like that? I don’t know which version of Chanyeol I’m dealing with, but I want to know all the versions. Chanyeol, you need to tell me things. Why are you hiding yourself?”

Chanyeol feels his world zoom out, and he finds himself in his thoughts. _The right person will want to understand you wholly._

Chanyeol looks at the one in front of him. Is he the right person? Would he listen to his story?

“You don’t know anything.” It comes out weak, and Chanyeol hides behind his words.

Baekhyun groans. “Then _tell_ me. Being your friend is already a big deal for me, Chanyeol. If you really like me for me, then I need to like you for _you._ The real you.” Baekhyun sighs, taking the taller's hand and squeezing it. "When you're ready, yeah?" 

Chanyeol nods, teary eyes and all, and squeezes back. He thought his anger would last longer, but Baekhyun was only saying the truth, and he needed to hear it.

He slams his front door, the force shaking the whole house. Tossing his bag on the floor, he thumps over to the kitchen, muttering incoherent things as he gets himself a glass of water. As he's pouring himself a glass he thinks back. _Who even are you? You're fucking fake. Why are you hiding yourself?_ He notices wetness on his cheeks, unaware that he'd started crying. Out of shock he wipes his tears, losing grip on the glass in the process. It crashes to the floor, shattering into bits, tiny knives splayed out in front of him. Chanyeol bends down to pick the pieces up, the glass slicing through his fingers. He hisses, blood dripping down to the ground. Before he can clean it up, he feels a hard slap on his cheek.

"You're such a fuck up," his mother growls, pushing him aside and sweeping away the glass. He stares at her, tears still slipping down his face. Just for a different reason.

He holds his reddened cheek. "Why do you only pay attention to me when I make mistakes?" He's shaking as he spits out the words, ignoring his jittery hands.

His mother looks up at him in disgust, no remorse on her face. "You are the mistake, Chanyeol."

He sobs, letting the familiar words wash over him for the hundredth time.

She pushes a finger to his chest. "Get out." Chanyeol releases a shaky breath and heads to his room, slamming his door violently. He stares at his bloody fingers, too tired to clean the wounds. His mother's words cut more than those glass pieces ever could. 

~~~

The next morning, Baekhyun smiles in relief when he finds Chanyeol excitedly heading his way. He’s not mad. Good. 

“Hi Baek.”

“Hey. You wanna go up?” He nods his head in the direction of the rooftop, taking Chanyeol’s hand once he nods. “Let’s go then.”

Once the wind greets them from the roof and they both sit down on the cement, Chanyeol begins to talk.

“Baek, I’m sorry I acted up. You don't have to like me back.” He sighs. “And for the record, I don’t want to be like this in front of others. I really don’t but,” he fiddles with his fingers. “I do this for protection. Unintentionally, but I do it to cover up my flaws.” 

“But everyone has flaws, Chanyeol. You don’t need to be perfect.” He looks down at the taller’s hands. “What happened?” He grabs his hands and runs his fingers over the tiny cuts. He looks up at Chanyeol, eyes widening in worry. “Did you-”

“No!” Chanyeol yelps. “I wouldn’t, I promise. It’s just... I dropped my glass of water.”

Baekhyun stifles a laugh. “Clumsy.”

And Chanyeol wants to laugh too. Baekhyun summed it up in just a word. He’s _clumsy_. 

“Yeah, I am.”

Baekhyun is still holding his hands. “We should still clean these and put bandages on them, hm?”

Baekhyun hurries to the nurse’s office, leaving Chanyeol alone to his thoughts. Baekhyun listens. And he isn’t judging him. His lips settle into the littlest of smiles. Maybe he can show Baekhyun who Park Chanyeol is, scars and all.

Baekhyun hurries to him, hands full of bandages and ointment. Chanyeol chuckles at the older’s determination.

“Wow, Baek. I never knew you cared this much about me.”

“Shut up.” Baekhyun’s face of concentration is cute, Chanyeol decides as he closes his mouth. He quickly cleans the cuts and adds antiseptic to them, shushing the taller whenever he winces or flinches from the sting. Chanyeol looks at him, then. He’s so close, he could probably hear his heart thumping. Baekhyun returns the gaze, his dark eyes leaving him speechless. Baekhyun's gaze is strong, captivating- so confident without trying. Chanyeol blinks at him, so entranced. Before he can say anything, Baekhyun squeezes antiseptic on a bigger cut, making Chanyeol whine and look away. Once he’d wrapped all his fingers with bandages, Baekhyun sat back down, satisfied. 

“Don’t be stupid and have open wounds, idiot. They could get infected.” Baekhyun smacks his shoulder.

Chanyeol smiles awkwardly. “Sorry.”

They sit there for longer, watching the blue sky and talking about mundane things. At one point, Chanyeol’s hand finds itself intertwined with Baekhyun’s, but neither of them say anything about it. 

“I’m glad you opened up a bit,” Baekhyun says, tucking a strand of hair behind the latter’s ear. “I know it’s hard, but I really would like to _know_ you, you know?”

He nods, leaning into the hand that’s holding his cheek and squeezing Baekhyun’s other hand. Finally. Kyungsoo’s words ring in his mind. He looks over to him.

Baekhyun clears his throat, standing up quickly and brushing the dirt off his pants. Chanyeol reaches a hand up, and this time Baekhyun takes it and hauls the taller one up to his feet. 

“Want gum?” Baekhyun asks, pulling a familiar cigarette pack out of his back pocket.

He smiles at the object. “What flavor?”

“Mint.” He smacks his gum obnoxiously.

Chanyeol rolls his eyes. “Ew, you have no taste. Mint? Bo-ring.”

Baekhyun smirks. “Well I’m sorry I don’t want to taste Watermelon fucking Twist while I'm kissing you.”

The giant sputters, blinking like an idiot. “ _What_?”

Baekhyun only responds by leaning in and quickly kissing the corner of his mouth. The mint is a little overpowering, but intoxicating in its own way. “Thank you.” 

Chanyeol smiles, pretending that Baekhyun hadn’t just stolen his heart right then and there. “I’ll tell you everything one day.”

“And I’ll be waiting. See you later, sweetheart,” he winks, sauntering off.

A soft mutter of, "Holy fuck." Chanyeol’s cheeks are on fire.

~~~

Much to Chanyeol’s surprise, Baekhyun didn’t refuse to eat lunch with him. He drags him over to their lunch table, smiling widely at Kyungsoo and Jongin’s dumbfounded expressions. 

“Guys, this is Baekhyun. Baekhyun, these are my best friends!”

Baekhyun manages a small nod before sitting next to the dork and letting him talk up a storm. Jongin and Kyungsoo were reluctant to respond, but after a snide remark from Baekhyun, they immediately jumped on the train of teasing Chanyeol. And by the end of the week, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun have formed an alliance (as Chanyeol calls it) and have taken it upon themselves to joke about whatever stupid thing Chanyeol does or says. Chanyeol just _maybe_ regrets introducing them to each other.

“When Chanyeol was in elementary school, he started a ferret club,” Kyungsoo blurts out between giggles.

Baekhyun’s eyes widen for a split second before he’s laughing at him again. "No fucking _way._ " Chanyeol slumps onto the table.

“Ugh. Soo, stop embarrassing me,” he whines.

Baekhyun stifles another laugh and tugs on the giant’s ear. “It’s nice to know that Park Chanyeol wasn’t as perfect as he is today.”

_Perfect._

Chanyeol tries to hide his frown as he abruptly excuses himself and walks away. Kyungsoo sighs when Baekhyun raises a brow. 

“Was it something I said?”

“No idea.”

“Huh.” Before Baekhyun could dwell on it more, the bell rings.

He doesn’t share any classes with Chanyeol. He never has, and since it is senior year, he never will. It’s not like he cares, but today he feels the need to find him and apologize. He huffs, clicking his pen repeatedly and sending a glare to anyone who complains to him about it. The lesson is boring and Baekhyun has no means of paying attention to that shit, so he stealthily pulls out his phone.

[Baek :D]: Chanyeol.

Not even seconds pass and he gets a reply.

[Chanyeol]: hey :( 

Baekhyun frowns, mirroring what’s on his screen.

[Baek :D]: you okay, sweetheart?

[Baek :D]: i'm sorry for whatever I said.

[Chanyeol]: It’s okay. I guess you didn’t know so I can’t blame you

[Chanyeol]: I don’t like the word perfect. It makes me uneasy, that’s all

[Baek :D]: is there a reason for that?

[Chanyeol]:I guess? 

A beat between. 

[Chanyeol]: Yeah, there is.

[Baek :D]: tell me when you’re ready, okay?

[Chanyeol]: I will. Thank you for waiting, Baek. Not anyone would do that for me.

[Baek ♡]: of course.

Chanyeol sighs at the response. He’s so scared. What’s the point of throwing all his burdens on someone else, when he could just keep mum and let everyone live their own lives? 

~~~

Although they still hung out, Chanyeol was definitely remaining distant. Slowly, he had stopped responding to Baekhyun’s texts and started gravitating towards conversation with Kyungsoo during lunch. If Chanyeol had said it was okay, why did he treat him so differently now? And, he hadn’t held Baekhyun’s hand or leaned on his shoulder in days, and Baekhyun was losing his mind, missing the weight of Chanyeol’s affection. 

“Chanyeol, I’m sorry again,” he apologizes for the nth time that week.

He sighs, a little pout on his face. “Not your fault that you didn’t know.”

Baekhyun grabs his hand, surprising the taller. “Do you want to go somewhere with me?”

“When? Now?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, sure.”

Technically, the school day was over in less than an hour, and they’d already been skipping last period for thirty minutes. Based on the pout on his face, Baekhyun guessed that he didn’t want to get in trouble.

“Baek…”

“Okay, fine. We’ll wait until the bell rings, you loser,” he grumbles, sitting back down. Chanyeol grins, taking his place right next to him and letting his head rest on the older’s shoulder. Baekhyun doesn’t even try to hide his grin. 

“Baek, tell me about your family.”

The latter hums, running his hand through Chanyeol’s hair. 

“Well, you already know about Baekbeom. He’s great, really. Studying somewhere in the States on a full ride scholarship. And my mom is an artist and my dad’s a retired pianist.” He sighs, stopping his hand motions, but Chanyeol moves his head a bit so Baekhyun can continue to pet his hair. “You know, they’re all so _talented_ , Chanyeol. I’ll never know how I could live up to their standard. Or my own.” He looks down into Chanyeol’s eyes. “I don’t know what I want to do with my life.”  
The giant only responds by shutting his eyes and leaning further onto his shoulder, his hair tickling Baekhyun’s neck. 

“You’ll support me while I figure things out, right?” Baekhyun isn’t sure why he feels so self-conscious now. Chanyeol nods.

“Of course, Baek. How could I not, when all you’ve ever done is be there for me?”

Once the bell rings, Baekhyun allows the taller on his motorcycle for the second time. He speeds off, heading towards the heart of the city, despite the odd looks from shocked students. It’s no secret that Park Chanyeol has been hanging out with the school’s version of a storm cloud, but they’d never seen them being so chummy.

Baekhyun drives them to the city, seemingly sure of where he is going, although Chanyeol thinks otherwise. Baekhyun looks like he’s aimlessly turning onto small alleys, completely unaware of all the noise he’s making by being on the vehicle. Chanyeol frowns, pushing his forehead between the older’s broad shoulders and gripping his waist tighter. 

When they finally get off the motorcycle, Chanyeol’s unimpressed. They’ve stopped in front of a weathered down brick wall, and although Baekhyun seems to be giddy, Chanyeol feels a tad uncomfortable. 

“Why are we here?” he questions, turning to Baekhyun.

He only smiles, pulling cans of spray paint from his backpack. “Let’s color, sweetheart.”

Now, on most occasions, Chanyeol wouldn’t refuse Baekhyun, especially when he used that endearment, but today he feels more uneasy than anything.

“Can I watch?”

He shrugs. “Sure. But, if I get caught, it’ll partly be your fault.”

_Better than nothing,_ he decides, leaning against the motorcycle seat while Baekhyun starts violently shaking the cans. 

“Do you usually carry spray paint instead of books in your bag?” He feels kind of snobby questioning everything Baekhyun does, but it’s _dangerous._

“Chanyeol, don’t be dumb,” he pushes the nozzle down and lays a clean streak of black on the wall, “There’s also a pack of cigarettes in there.” He winks obnoxiously over his shoulder, making Chanyeol question why he even has a crush on him.

“I hope it’s filled with gum, at least?”

Baekhyun nods, looking over his shoulder. “Maybe I should quit?”

Chanyeol grins enthusiastically. “You should! Instead of relieving your stress, you should share your worries with me. It’s more effective. Plus, you won’t die from lung cancer.”

His back is turned, but Chanyeol can feel the other rolling his eyes. “I think you should share your worries too,” he says softly, but Chanyeol hears it, immediately tensing up.

“O-Okay, I’ll tell you,” he surprises himself as he says it. It was only a matter of time, anyway.

Baekhyun turns to face him, but Chanyeol stops him. “Don’t look at me. Just continue being a criminal and vandalizing property while I explain my sob story. It’ll make this a hell of a lot easier.”

Baekhyun nods slowly, turning around and spraying the wall in streaks of dark colors. Blues, indigos, blacks.

He takes a breath in, assured that everything will be alright. “When I was younger, my parents were incredibly in love. I’d look at them and want everything they had when I grew up. They would go out on dates, have meaningful moments, and love me like I was their little star. And as I grew older, I realized how important they were in my life. We'd do everything together, and I was always surrounded by love." His words get caught in his throat. "But, then one day my dad left.”

Baekhyun freezes, wanting to turn around. 

Chanyeol sighs. “It was just after my twelfth birthday. He was fired from work, and he had been hiding it from mom. Not only that, but he stayed away from us too. He wasn’t heavily educated, so finding a new job was really tough. And, more than anything, he was afraid he couldn’t support us. He claimed he had failed as a husband and father. One night, he packed his shit in one of our tiny suitcases, announcing that he was going to search for work. My mom was crying, like she knew it was bigger than that. And she was right. He never came back,” he shudders, running a hand through his hair, and continues, “I still hear my mom screaming for him to come back when she dreams. She let him leave because she loved him. And, godammit, she started blaming me, Baek. She said that if I wasn’t born he wouldn’t have left, since raising me took so much out of them. And I started to believe her. I still do. I’m a burden. If I wasn’t born, he would be able to support the two of them.” He chuckles humorlessly.

It takes everything in Baekhyun to keep his back turned and his feet planted on the ground. He shakes a bottle of white and slowly works it into his art.

“I guess I’m like this because of that. I try to be perfect, because all my mom sees in me are faults. And it fucking _hurts_ . But I hate being this idealized version of me, because _I don’t like it_.” 

Baekhyun drops the can of paint and turns around to gather the taller in his arms. He soothes his back, allowing Chanyeol to cry into his shoulder. Before he knows it, his own eyes start getting glassy. Chanyeol leans back, pouting at him.

“You weren’t supposed to turn around,” he says it hushed, wiping the tears off of the other's cheeks.

Baekhyun’s smile is watery. “Chanyeol,” he cups the taller’s jaw, “I’m so _sorry_ that that happened to you. You’re so, _so_ wonderful. You don’t deserve this. And it all makes sense, even though it may seem like a jumble of emotions to you.”

“But, you’re _not_ a burden, Chanyeol,” he adds, softly, eyes searching his. “If anything, you’re a blessing. At least for me you are.”

Chanyeol starts crying again, hiccupping as he does. Baekhyun tries to not let it affect him, but soon enough, he’s shedding a few more tears, his heart lurching at the sounds of Chanyeol’s cries. 

Chanyeol releases a shaky breath once he’s stopped sobbing. “I think I’m so forward with you because I’ve seen such a beautiful relationship be shattered when you don’t communicate well.” He shakes his head, Baekhyun’s palm still cradling his face. “I don’t want to go through the same shit, Baek. I just want to be loved again.”

~~~

For once, Baekhyun cares. Chanyeol with teary eyes and pain in his heart is something he can't have happen again. All he wants is a clingy, silly, talkative Chanyeol. However, since he came to terms with his past, the younger seems to have closed up more. He barely engages in conversation and instead zones out often. Baekhyun is worried more than anything. 

“Chanyeol.”

He flinches, blinks for a moment and then looks up at Kyungsoo, who’s worry is not so subtly written all over his face.

“Are you okay, Chanyeol?” Jongin pries, despite the looming tension that hangs over their lunch table. 

He frowns. "Yeah?"

Baekhyun slumps down next to him, finally getting his food from the lunch line. "Why are the lines suddenly so long? It's not like the food is any good."

"There's apparently chocolate mousse," Kyungsoo says, picking up his homemade food with a chopstick. 

His jaw drops, "And I didn't get one? What the fuck!"

Chanyeol stifles a smile, but Baekhyun catches it. 

"Sweetheart, you okay?" He holds Chanyeol's shoulder tenderly. "Do you want chocolate mousse too?"

Kyungsoo and Jongin exchange a look before subtly scooting over to the next table.

Chanyeol hums, leaning his head on Baekhyun's shoulder. "No.”

“Then, what’s up?”

“It’s just that I regret telling you things, if I'm being honest."

Baekhyun hums, threading his fingers through Chanyeol's messy locks. "You don't trust me?"

"Maybe not completely," he winces, gaging the older's reaction. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. You're entitled to feel what you feel." He twists in a way that Chanyeol can make eye contact in this position. "But why regret opening up?"

"I don't really know, Baek. I just feel weird about it. All this build up and then it happened. And now I'm an open book with a big font and pictures."

Amused, Baekhyun flicks his forehead. "An easy read, huh?"

Chanyeol's hair tickles his neck as he nods. Suddenly, he gets an idea. "Chanyeol, wanna go on a date?"

Chanyeol lifts his head so fast that it smacks right into Baekhyun's chin.

"Fuck, _ow._ " Baekhyun whines as he clutches his chin.

"Shit," Chanyeol mumbles sheepishly. "If that was any sign, _yes._ I’d love to go on a date with you."

Baekhyun mirrors his smile.

It was simple, really. Baekhyun decided that going to the nearby town fair would be something good enough for a date. Despite the lack of planning, Chanyeol was predictably excited. He was smiling the whole ride there, his large arms squeezing Baekhyun’s waist as the older sped down the roads. Once they arrive at the fair, Chanyeol’s eyes light up at the colorful booths and the smell of greasy, delicious food.

“Chanyeol, wait up!” Baekhyun calls, jogging to catch up with the overexcited giant. Chanyeol was already stationed at one of the games, chucking foam balls at a stack of glass bottles. 

“Baek, watch me,” he mutters with determination as he pitches the ball so fast that it knocks all the bottles over. The man at the booth laughs at his enthusiasm.

“Okay okay, you win!” he says, “Choose a prize.”

Chanyeol grins and nudges the older. “Pick one.”

Baekhyun scoffs. “Why, are you gonna give it to me as something to remember you by?” He scoffs at Chanyeol’s nod. “Don’t be cliché-”

“We’ll take the bunny!” Chanyeol exclaims, making grabby hands at the stuffed animal in the back of the booth. Baekhyun hopes his smile isn’t as visible as it feels.

“Baek! Let’s get food!” Chanyeol hollers, candidly pointing towards a cotton candy stand. Baekhyun merely nods his head before Chanyeol grabs his hand and drags him over there.  
Chanyeol grins as he’s handed a pink cloud on a stick. “Baek say ahh~” he singsongs, tearing off a piece of cotton candy and waving it in front of his mouth. As Baekhyun opens his mouth to retort, Chanyeol stuffs the sweet candy in his mouth.

“Shut up and eat it, Baek.” Chanyeol takes his hand again, this time slotting his fingers between Baekhyun’s.

Baekhyun says nothing and instead leads them to the shooting booth, where they must hit the three different targets to win.

Chanyeol sits down excitedly and forces Baekhyun to hold the cotton candy and the stuffed bunny as he attempts to hit the targets. After a grueling thirty seconds, Chanyeol ends up missing the last one. Pouting, he takes back the stuff from Baekhyun’s hands and walks away, not even looking back to see if he’s following. Baekhyun frowns, sitting down at the booth and taking a hold of the toy rifle. 

The man at the booth explains the rules to him, which Baekhyun just shrugs off as his eyebrows gather in persistence. After a few seconds, the game starts, and he’s shooting foam bullets like crazy. The first target falls down after a few shots, causing Baekhyun to smirk. After pulling the trigger, the second and third target drop easily. The man in the booth makes an impressed face, before letting him choose whatever prize he wants. He opts for a fuzzy cat plushie. 

The man smiles as he hands him the cat. “Give it to your boyfriend, I’m sure he’ll stop frowning.”

Baekhyun shakes his head. “He’s not-”

“Baekhyun!” Chanyeol hollers as he runs toward him. “You won!”

He adds the plushie to the pile of stuff that’s gathered in Chanyeol’s arms. “Yeah. Let’s do something else.”

After riding the ferris wheel, going to the photo booth numerous times, and eating more snacks, the energy dies down a little. They exit the photo booth one last time, taking the rows of silly pictures out of the slot. Chanyeol’s smiling in all of them, whereas Baekhyun only looks at him with an annoyed look. Chanyeol snatches all of them from Baekhyun’s hold with a cheeky smirk and leans his head onto the smaller’s shoulder. 

“Thank you for this, Baek. I know this was all just for me to get my mind off of things, and it worked. I think being anywhere with you helps me feel better.”

Baekhyun pulls away, giving a little distance between them. Chanyeol holds his hand tightly. He reaches up, cupping the taller’s jaw tenderly with his other hand. “You know most dates end with a kiss, right?”

Chanyeol shrugs with the slightest smile, "Okay, so?" He leans ever closer, the corner of his lip tugging up. Baekhyun's eyes flit to the taller's lips. Chanyeol licks them in response, making his breath hitch. 

"Okay, so kiss me, Park Chanyeol, and don't ever stop."

And he does. There's no rush, and Chanyeol takes the opportunity to map out each dip, fold, crease of his lips, pausing to swipe his tongue over that damned lip ring and letting the tangy taste of cold metal settle on his tongue. Damn, it felt better than it did in his daydreams. No matter how fast his heart hammers in his chest, he still feels relieved in his own way. Baekhyun grabs his nape and pushes his lips harder against his and opens his mouth until he feels Chanyeol's tongue warm against his own. Baekhyun smirks as he continues to deepen the kiss, following the rhythm, placing a hand against the taller's chest and pushing him back until he hits the side of the photo booth. Chanyeol’s hands slide up his arms before they gently hold his jaw, thumbs tucked into his cheeks. At some point, they get lazy, until it’s just Chanyeol giggling between soft presses of Baekhyun’s lips. Baekhyun pecks his lips once more before leaning back, but Chanyeol draws him closer and they do it all over again. 

~~~

“You’ve never bothered looking?” Baekhyun asks, stealing food from Chanyeol’s tray. “I thought most kids are curious. Oh my god, since when is cafeteria food this _good?_ ”

Chanyeol shrugs. “I think I was just too hurt then to care about where my dad went.” He pauses for a moment, letting the other feed him a bite. “It’s not _that_ good.” He swallows. “There was a point where I really wanted to know where he went. But, what’s done is done. More than anything, I’d like to rebuild the relationship with my mom.”

Baekhyun snakes an arm around Chanyeol’s protruding one to steal a large helping of rice. “Yeah? That’s good.”

“Maybe I should try to talk to her.”

Baekhyun perks up, suddenly more invested in the conversation. “You want help?”

“No, Baek, I don’t want to drag you into my family’s shit-”

Baekhyun frowns, waving his chopsticks in front of his face. Chanyeol goes cross eyed, following the movement. “I’d really love to help.”

After a moment of stillness, Chanyeol nods. “Okay.”

Kyungsoo smacks his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Idiot.”

“Ow, Soo!” he whines, despite being in the library. The old lady at the counter scowls at the two of them.

“Stop zoning out. You have a test in an hour.”

Jongin sighs, slumping over his textbook. “We studied for four hours last night.”

“Well now you can make it five.”

“Kyungsoo,” his whines get louder and the librarian’s glare becomes fiery. 

Kyungsoo shoves him with an annoyed look. “She’s going to yell at us. Shut up and do your work.” He starts flipping through his textbook then, directing Jongin to the right page before looking at his own. Not even a minute of studying later, Jongin breaks the silence.

“Kyung-”

“No. Keep working.”

“But-”

He glares at him. “Jongin, I want you to do well. Can you _please_ study so I don't have to worry about you not graduating?”

Jongin pouts and mumbles in a small voice, “Do you think Chanyeol’s changed?”

The shorter shuts up at that, looking his boyfriend directly in the eye. “Yeah.”

“Should we do something?”

“It’s not like he’s become a serial killer. Change is inevitable, Nini,” he holds his hand, “And, personally, I think he’s changing for the better.”

Jongin smiles at him then, squeezing his hand. “I hope he’s okay.”

“He has Baekhyun. They’ll both be fine.” 

“Yeah?”

Kyungsoo nods. He’s sure, of course. It’s Chanyeol and it’s Baekhyun. They’ve been friends for months now, and Baekhyun has really helped the other in ways he never knew. He smiles unconsciously, glad that Chanyeol has found his special someone. Even if he doesn’t know it yet. 

“Baek, what are we?"

He looks at him like he's the stupidest person ever. "We're human beings. Living, breathing legends. At least, I know I am.”

Chanyeol giggles, "Sure, sure. But, I was talking about, you know, _us."_

He looks to Chanyeol, then, never getting used to his forwardness. "I don't know, Chanyeol. Do you like me? I always thought you'd get bored of me after a while, but here you are."

Truthfully, Chanyeol never thought of giving up on Baekhyun. He was drawn to him from the start, and even though their initial conversations were one sided, Chanyeol’s heart had made its mind on one person. Byun Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun with his oversized t-shirts. Byun Baekhyun with the lip ring that resided on the right corner of his bottom lip. Byun Baekhyun with a cigarette always placed between his middle and forefinger, ready for another drag. Byun Baekhyun with the hidden smiles but exaggerated smirks. Yes, him. Chanyeol wanted him only.

"I like you, Baekhyun. You already know."

Baekhyun lets him see his pretty smile and Chanyeol forgets to breathe. Beautiful. "I do know. It's just nice to hear, that's all."

Chanyeol's gaze lingers, watching the way the shorter leans against the wall and smiles up at him. He's sure the other reciprocates his feelings.

"You gonna say something back?" Chanyeol says, taking a step closer.

Baekhyun holds his hands up in defeat.

"Sorry, Park, I don’t like words."

Chanyeol smiles and leans forward, ravishing the older's lips. Baekhyun's hands curl into fists still in mid air as he shuts his eyes, arms circling his neck and letting Chanyeol take his breath away. It's this that seals their mutual feelings, more than words ever could. Because Chanyeol's willing to give up long declarations of love if it's for a special moment with Baekhyun.

~~~

The cold weather was biting at his cheeks. Baekhyun watched the snow fall from the sky, scrunching his nose in annoyance. Christmas break was approaching in just a few days, and yet Baekhyun was feeling bitter for some reason.

"Baek!" He hears a voice from the side. Chanyeol stands there, wearing a gigantic puffer jacket, a hat, and a huge scarf, making him look bigger and fluffier than normal. "Aren't you cold?"

Baekhyun looks down at his outfit: jeans and a plain black sweatshirt. A little lacking in the style department, but that's what winter does to him. "Not really." Chanyeol’s smiles warm him up anyway. The taller pouts, holding his hand out, leaving Baekhyun with no choice but to take it, lacing their fingers together. They walk towards the school, the snow drifting from the sky and landing on top of Chanyeol's eyelashes. Baekhyun finds him beautiful.

“So I was thinking,” Chanyeol mumbles, burrowing into his scarf, “If you’d like...uh, do you want to stay at my house over break?”

Baekhyun turns to him, smiling at Chanyeol’s red cheeks. “I wouldn’t want to intrude-”

“No!” Chanyeol cringes at his loudness, looking to see if anybody noticed. “You wouldn’t be. Christmas is lonely at home, you know? My mom’s kinda distant around this time of year anyway. So, you know…” He swings their hands together.

“I know what?” His expression is amused, and Chanyeol shrinks further into his padding.

“You know… we could spend time together. You and I.” He gestures between them shyly, and Baekhyun tries really hard not to smile so wide. There's just something about him. Baekhyun nudges his shoulder. 

“Sure. I’ll be there, sweetheart.”

They’d never been to each other’s house before, and Baekhyun certainly didn’t think he’d be coming over so soon. He didn’t like moving fast with relationships, but something about the idiot made him do things he wouldn’t normally do. Chanyeol unlocks the front door and reveals a homey living room with tons of mismatched pillows. 

He scratches the back of his neck, “We don’t really have decorations. Or money, even.”

Baekhyun slides his hand against the taller’s shoulder, squeezing it twice. “It’s home.”

Chanyeol softens at that, lacing their fingers together and leading them upstairs. “My mom won’t be home for a while, so we could probably hang around for a bit before we get caught. She doesn’t know we’re together.”  
“We won’t get caught. I sneak around all the time, it’s one of my best skills.”

Chanyeol laughs at that and Baekhyun unconsciously smiles. “Right.”

“So, about your ferret club…” Baekhyun says, already smiling, “Do you have any pictures of your younger self?”  
Chanyeol blanches, freezing in place, “Baekhyun, do you realize that you’re asking me to embarrass myself?”

Baekhyun elbows his side, “C’mon, Chanyeol! You need to lighten up, you know.”

“ _Me? I_ have to lighten up? You’re the one that’s constantly brooding.”

“At least I’m not a dork like you.”

“I’m not a dork!”

Baekhyun narrows his eyes. “Oh yeah? Then prove it. Show me your photo albums.” 

Chanyeol’s too competitive for his own good. 

His mother’s room was practically empty. It had a bed, a vanity, and a walk-in closet.  
“This isn’t weird, right? Like, I don’t want your mom to hate me when I haven’t even met her.”

Chanyeol shrugs, “She pretty much hates everyone, Baek.”  
“Yeah, that makes me feel so much better,” he shoves Chanyeol into the closet, despite the taller’s laughter. They rummaged through the racks of clothes, but they couldn’t find much. Baekhyun finds the sudden urge to smoke, patting down his pockets for his cigarette pack. Chanyeol starts to laugh at his disappointing expression when all he finds is gum. Shoving a stick in his mouth, Baekhyun walks out of the closet. They spend the next hour searching through drawers, but to no avail. 

“Hey, Chanyeol, check this out.” Above the racks of clothes is a shelf with a box. Chanyeol grabs it off the shelf, subtly flexing his height. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Baekhyun roll his eyes. The box is heavy and filled with a bunch of junk. There are long strips of colorful cloth, letters with smudged ink, and scattered train tickets. 

“Great.”

Baekhyun smacks the back of his head and ignores the giant’s shriek. He scoops out everything from the box, tossing it onto the carpet, and finally uncovers a photo album. Chanyeol stares in awe while Baekhyun immediately flips it open. There are a scarce amount of photos, only one or two per a page that fits about six. Most are old photos of Chanyeol’s parents when they first met, but after a few page turns, Chanyeol literally comes into the picture. From school events to science projects, he became the center of each shot. Cute and smiling and loud, Baekhyun can feel the happiness resonating from each shot. He smiles unconsciously, mirroring the same smiles Chanyeol’s parents seem to be giving him in a few pictures. 

Baekhyun laughs at the little ferret in one of the photographs, “I can’t fucking believe it. Look at you, Chanyeol! You have glasses and cutest chubby cheeks!”

“Oh my god, stop!” Chanyeol’s face flushes red as he flips past the page, hoping to direct attention elsewhere.

Chanyeol gasps, pointing to a photo, “That was my twelfth birthday party! Look at me, Baek. Look, I was so handsome.”

“Eyesore,” he smirks at the other’s frown. "When's your birthday?"

Chanyeol’s face lights up, "It happened a few weeks ago, the day we went bowling."

Baekhyun pauses and then frowns, punching his shoulder, "Idiot, you should've told me! I feel so guilty now."

Chanyeol laughs at that, “I didn’t want you to know.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes and focuses on the photos in front of them.

“Where’s your dad?”

Chanyeol glances at the other pictures related to his birthday, his eyebrows scrunching. “I don’t think he showed up until the next morning.”

Baekhyun gasps and snaps his fingers. “You said he left soon after this birthday, right?” He continues once Chanyeol nods. “That means he probably lost his job the night of your party. And since he was so disheartened, he couldn’t face you two. So, he stopped coming home.”

“He shouldn’t have felt that way…” Chanyeol mumbles, throat closing up.

Kissing his cheek, Baekhyun whispers into his dimple, “It’s okay.”

Something about Baekhyun’s tender expression makes a burning feeling surface in his chest. He hasn't felt this cared for in so long, he hadn't even realized he was yearning for it. Chanyeol waits for a moment before clearing his throat. “Uh, let’s bring this stuff to my room? I don’t want my mom to catch us.”

“I thought she wasn’t coming home soon?” Baekhyun crosses his arms and smiles, maybe a little too cheekily.

Chanyeol gives him a long look. “Let’s just fucking go to my room, Baek.”

Not even a step inside and Chanyeol is pushed against a bookcase, tiny figurines falling to the floor. Now in normal circumstances, Chanyeol would flip out over those action figures falling to their deaths, but when there's Baekhyun and kisses involved, there are not enough brain cells in his mind to think rationally. Baekhyun pulls at his bottom lip with his teeth, hands finding its place on the taller's shoulders. His kisses come in waves, a crash and then a pull back. Chanyeol doesn't know where his hands go, they move from Baekhyun's hair, to his chest, to his waist, to his ass, until Baekhyun chuckles into his mouth and shoves him until he's sitting on the bed.

"Fuck, sorry. You look really cute today," Baekhyun says. 

Chanyeol waves it off, lips still swollen, unconsciously puckered for more kisses, and heartbeat slowly steadying.

Baekhyun looks around, noticing the books and figurines and anime posters.

"Haikyuu? Really?"

"Volleyball is cool!" Chanyeol says, suddenly defensive. Baekhyun laughs as if it is the funniest thing he's heard and then kisses the top of his head.

"Whatever you say, sweetheart. Cute room, though. Looks like mine a bit."

"Really? I always figured your walls would be black and the floor would be covered in cigarette butts."

"Then you don't know me at all." Baekhyun grins when Chanyeol starts to grumble. "For your information, I only have gum now and the only black in there are my pillows."

Chanyeol scrunches his nose right after Baekhyun kisses it. "Invite me sometime, Baek." Baekhyun doesn't respond, and continues to look around.

"You have so many hobbies," he picks up what seems to be an old mixtape.

Chanyeol stares at the stick-on stars that are scattered over his ceiling. "I could never just stick to one thing." Baekhyun turns around at that.

"You'll stick with me, right?" he says with an unsure expression. It's the most insecure he's ever seen Baekhyun.

"O-of course," he stumbles out. 

Baekhyun nods, looking back to the shelves. "Good. Because you're all I have, sweetheart."

For some reason, seeing Baekhyun in his room made his heart skip. He’s just sitting there, staring at him, challenging him with just a look. Chanyeol couldn’t control himself, even if he tried.

Once his canines touch the metal on his lip, Chanyeol sighs. He pushes the older against the wall, dragging his fingers through his red hair.

"Jesus, Baek, you have no idea how hot you are."

Baekhyun smirks into the giant's mouth and flips them around, Chanyeol's back pinned to one of his anime posters. Chanyeol vaguely remembers a wet dream similar to this. Damn, he’s one lucky man.

"You think I don’t?" He pokes a tongue out at his lip ring, fiddling with it. Chanyeol short circuits. He grabs Baekhyun’s waist and pulls him against his chest, bending down and smashing their lips together. Baekhyun arches his back, tilts his head up, and offers his heart on a silver platter.

Once they’ve tamed their raging hormones, they settle on the bed and hold each other, Chanyeol feeling safe as the little spoon, as Baekhyun’s arms wrap tightly around him. His lips are kind of sore, but he’d still kiss Baekhyun again. 

“What do you do on Christmas usually?” he hears him say.

Chanyeol shrugs, burrowing into Baekhyun’s shirt. He smells like mint and a smile unconsciously tugs at his lips. “I just watch Christmas movies and make microwave popcorn. Sometimes I go to Kyungsoo’s house and we watch the movies together.” He looks up at the other, “What do you do?”

Baekhyun’s eyes speak volumes of fondness, Chanyeol can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed. He’d never _felt_ so much. “Well,” he threads his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair, slowly scratching his scalp with blunt fingernails. Chanyeol shuts his eyes and lets Baekhyun’s hushed voice soothe him. “I wake up at noon, then eat a large breakfast. I open presents with my parents and stuff. And then we spend the rest of the day calling family and nestling by the fireplace.”

Chanyeol sighs, “That sounds lovely. Let’s go to your house next year.”

Baekhyun smiles. “You’re sure there will be a next year for us?”

He feels Chanyeol nod. “Mhm.” And that’s enough confirmation for the both of them. They lay there, two days away from the 25th, basking in the sight of each other and Chanyeol’s anime posters. It’s the most secure they’ve felt in a long time.

They wake up in each other’s arms, staring at the other awkwardly before letting go. Well, Chanyeol is the only one who contributes to the awkwardness.

“S-Sorry,” Chanyeol mumbles, running a hand through his hair.

A grin. “I’m not.” 

Chanyeol’s eyes widen, blushing and turning away. “Yeah, okay. I’m gonna go brush-”

Baekhyun sighs, pulling Chanyeol closer to him. He notices the tiredness around Baekhyun’s eyes, the drowsy expression and the tiny smile settles on his thin lips. Chanyeol doesn’t remember when Baekhyun stopped wearing makeup in front of him. It doesn’t matter, he likes the way Baekhyun looks in the morning. “Shut up, Chanyeol. We’re staying in bed longer. I deserve a good rest after dealing with your bullshit for so long.”

“You dick,” he mutters, shutting his eyes once Baekhyun starts cuddling him. 

“You’re impossible, sweetheart.” A beat, “And so cute.”

Chanyeol cannot suppress his grin. It’s bright and sleepy and Baekhyun can’t help but smile back. “What’re we gonna do today, Baek?”

“Well, what do you wanna do?”  
Chanyeol looks up at him, “I dunno. For now, just… hold me a little longer, yeah?”

Baekhyun’s arms tighten around him. “You don’t even have to ask.”

It's around noon when they roll out of bed. Chanyeol had insisted on making pancakes, so Baekhyun was forced to sit on the couch and find movies to watch.

"Baek~" Chanyeol singsongs, heading to the living room with a plate of pancakes in hand. "Good morning," he chuckles, handing him the plate. "A delectable plate of pancakes, soft to the touch, sure to soothe your palette and provide your tastebuds with sweet fluffiness."

Baekhyun snorts at that, taking his food and feeding Chanyeol between bites of his own. The Christmas movie plays quietly in the background. By the time they were finished stuffing their faces with food, their fingers were sticky with syrup and their hearts were full of love. 

Baekhyun leans in, poking his tongue out to lick Chanyeol's upper lip. "You got some syrup there," he mutters, noticing how Chanyeol's breath hitches ever so slightly. 

"Is it gone?" His lashes flutter, either clueless or tactfully done. Baekhyun offers a smirk before his lips are on his, again.

"Baekhyun," he mumbles. He's pushing him off, letting the older miss his lips for a moment. Baekhyun’s impatient expression makes him giggle. "I really like you."

The older stills for a second, before offering a gorgeous smile. It's a rare thing, Baekhyun’s genuine happiness. Chanyeol’s grateful he's one of the few that gets to experience it. "I really like you too, sweetheart."

Christmas Eve is spent by watching movies, eating, and shamelessly making out, of course. Baekhyun’s very physical with people he likes, Chanyeol had learned once a particularly intense kiss was coupled with fussy hands and dreamy sighs. 

"Sweetheart," he mumbles into their kiss, hands finding their place under Chanyeol's sweatshirt. Baekhyun’s hands are cold- the heater wasn't working- and Chanyeol flinches at the sensation before pulling back.

"Hm?" It's the cute head tilt that makes Baekhyun pull him in for another kiss. 

"Do you…" he kisses his cheek loudly, snickering when Chanyeol blushes and hides his face in his neck. 

"Do I what?"

"Chanyeol, do you…" he drags his tongue over his lower lip, eyes growing darker as he notices Chanyeol watching him intensely. 

He blinks slowly, eyes trained on a shiny ring of metal, "Mm, do I _what?"_ He grumbles, leaning closer into Baekhyun's space, eyes fluttering shut as his lips meet his. Baekhyun pushes his hand against Chanyeol’s lips, chuckling when he feels a kiss to his fingertips.

"Do you wanna try talking it out with your mom today?"

Chanyeol blinks, leaning back and regaining composure. "Why were you thinking of that while kissing me?"

He snorts, patting Chanyeol’s cheek. "I'm trying to seduce you into making the right choice in life."

He frowns a little, disappointed that Baekhyun hadn't asked the question he was expecting to hear. 

"What do you think, hm?" He tries to avoid Baekhyun’s eyes, looking down and fiddling with his thumbs.

Baekhyun sighs, running a hand through Chanyeol’s messy hair. Maybe Baekhyun shouldn't tug at it so much, but Chanyeol likes the feeling. "I think you're holding back because of fear. And I think that if you communicate better, things will become easier."

Chanyeol nods, his pout growing prominent as he overthinks. Baekhyun chuckles, kissing it away. "I'm here for you, remember that."

~~~

His mother comes home half past eleven, sporting a frown and throwing her things on the table. Chanyeol and Baekhyun hide in the kitchen while she sits on the couch. 

“Be brave, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says, kissing his cheek for momentum. “I’m right next to you.” 

Chanyeol gives him a curt nod before holding his hand and tugging him along to the living room. His mom doesn’t notice him until he clears his throat. 

“H-Hi.” Chanyeol mumbles, looking down at his feet. His mother’s eyes are scrutinizing. He feels a squeeze to his hand. “This is Baekhyun. He’s my...” he falters, looking down at his feet.

“Your what?” She snaps.

“Boyfriend,” Baekhyun says, stepping closer to his side. “I’m his boyfriend.”

Chanyeol nods at that, cheeks red. “Yeah. He’s staying with us over break.”  
His mother lifts a brow. “Does your _boyfriend_ always speak for you?”

Chanyeol shifts awkwardly. “N-No. He’s just being supportive.”

“Something he’s clearly missing from his life,” Baekhyun adds. His mother gives him a fiery look, but she doesn’t respond. 

“Whatever.” She’s already gotten up by then, taking quick strides to her room. Chanyeol turns to him.  
“That went… well.”

Baekhyun laughs, “I didn’t think you’d introduce me.”  
“I need to ease into this, Baek. I haven’t held a proper conversation with her in years.” 

“Take you time, then,” he looks up, carding his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair, “You look a lot like her, you know?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he tugs on his ears, “Except for these.” Chanyeol’s giggles make everything better.

That night, once Chanyeol had fallen asleep, Baekhyun headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. It’s silent, except for the whines from the broken heater. He shivers, the cold kitchen tile making his toes curl. He hears the thump of footsteps down the stairs, and he cranes his neck, looking for the tall idiot to come stumbling in. Instead, Ms. Park walks in. She looks at him boredly before pulling a bottle of beer from the fridge. 

“Hi Ms. Park.” Baekhyun bows a little, even though it feels so out of place. She’s leaning against the fridge, looking at him with a questioning expression. Baekhyun smiles. “I know you care.” She gulps some of the liquid down and sets the bottle down on the counter. He continues, “You questioned my presence in your son’s life. Which means you care about him. And it’s not fair that only I can see it.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her voice shakes just a hint, but Baekhyun catches on.

“I don’t need to know everything. But, I know enough. Chanyeol is hurting- has been for _years_. And he hasn’t been able to grieve in a healthy way, Ms. Park.”

“Baekhyun-”  
“Please let me finish, Ms. Park. You haven’t been grieving in a healthy way either.” Her gaze is strong, but Baekhyun’s is too. He’s fearless, after all. “You cannot blame your son for your husband’s actions. You both chose to have a child, it’s in your responsibility to nurture him. Look, I’m in no position to tell you how to parent, but Chanyeol is a wonderful person who _deserves_ love. And no matter how much I can give him, he will always need his family. Everyone does.”

Her eyes grow glassy as he speaks, but she makes no move to wipe the tears. “I know,” her voice is hoarse. Baekhyun moves to her side, rubbing her arm gently. “Fuck, _I know._ ” She sinks to the floor, curling into herself, knees to her chest. Baekhyun follows. “I’m a terrible mother.”

“Only for a few years,” Baekhyun jokes, and Ms. Park cracks a small smile. 

“I don’t know how to fix it. It’s all gone to shit. I convinced myself that it was Chanyeol, because I didn’t want to see my husband as a coward.” Ms. Park pauses, broken words and sobs climbing up her throat. “He was. And Chanyeol is stronger than the both of us.” She chokes up again, burying her face in her shaking hands.

Baekhyun hums, patting her shoulder. “That, he is.”

~~~

It’s Christmas Day, something the two of them were looking forward to. It had snowed early that morning, making everything feel cozier. Between bites of gingerbread and mugs of hot cocoa, Chanyeol and Baekhyun found pure comfort. Once noon rolled around, Chanyeol ushered the other to the tree. 

“I got you something, Baek,” Chanyeol says, setting his mug of cocoa on the table. 

“We didn’t decide on getting each other gifts though. I didn’t get you anything,” Baekhyun frowns a little. Chanyeol gives him a sweet smile before handing him a small box covered in shiny red wrapping paper. 

“Just open it.”

Baekhyun sighs, gently ripping the paper off the gift. Inside is a picture frame, filled with the photo booth strips from the carnival. Baekhyun’s already smiling.  
“This is perfect.” He looks at Chanyeol, who offers his cheek for a kiss. Baekhyun laughs before pecking his dimple. “Thank you, you sweetheart. I feel bad that I didn’t get you anything.”

Chanyeol shakes his head. “You being here is more than enough, Baekhyun.”

_“Ahem.”_ The two whip their heads towards the noise, Chanyeol leaning away when he sees his mom. Baekhyun doesn’t budge. “Merry Christmas,” she mumbles, almost sheepishly. 

Chanyeol’s face pales. She hadn’t greeted him like that in years. “M-Merry Christmas.”  
“Are you two done?” She taps her foot twice. Baekhyun nods slowly. “Good, then.”

“We made gingerbread cookies,” Chanyeol blurts out. Awkward silence ensues, and Baekhyun has to keep from cringing. “You can have some, if you want.”

She gives a curt nod, looking at Baekhyun for a brief second. “Okay.” And she’s off to the kitchen.

Chanyeol’s grin is bright as he leans his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “She’s acting differently,” he whispers, as if she was right there. Baekhyun cards his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair.

“Is that a bad thing?”  
He shakes his head. “It feels like home.”

She comes back from the kitchen after a while, cautiously sitting on a chair closer to the couple. Chanyeol bristles a bit, afraid of what's to come, but Baekhyun squeezes his hand.

"Can we talk?" Chanyeol asks, sitting straighter and looking her dead in the eye. 

His mother nods after a pause. "Okay."

Baekhyun feels his hand snake into his own, squeezing it for a second. Chanyeol takes a steady breath. "Why do you hate me so much?" There are no tears in his eyes, unlike his mother, which surprises Baekhyun, who shifts closer to him.

Ms. Park sighs, looking down at her lap. She looks so small like this, her false confidence waning quickly. Baekhyun has the urge to hold her hand as well. "I was...insecure. I still am. But, I thought _I_ had failed as a wife, and as a mother, that my own husband-" her lips quivers, "that my own husband left me." She brushes away some tears. Chanyeol makes no sign of moving towards her. But, his eyes turn sad, still looking at her.

"But your father, he had told me to be confident, be sure of myself. It was the last piece of advice I had, and, I don't know, I took it in the direction of blaming you. So maybe I wouldn't hate myself so much."

Chanyeol sighs, "Did it help, mom? Did bringing me down lift you up?"

She shakes her head, biting her lip to stop a sob, looking like a child being scolded. Maybe that's what that was. Her son is an adult now, she missed the biggest development of his life. "N-No. It was _his_ choice to leave, and you and I are not to blame," she whispers, her shaky hands on her lap, "I mean, look at us! I can’t stop drinking, and you can’t stop hating me.” It’s silent then, just the sounds of her sniffling. “I regret so much, Chanyeol. And I'm _so_ sorry." She looks up at him, trying to make sense of his expression. Chanyeol's lips press into a thin line. It takes a long moment for any words to be said.

"I-I can't forgive you. Not yet, at least," he reaches over to hold her hands, letting go of Baekhyun's for a moment. "But, I-" her eyes look so full of hope, Baekhyun can't help but tear up too. "But I missed you, mom." As soon as Chanyeol says it, his arms are full of her, sinking into her embrace and basking in the love he's missed for so long.

"You're all I have left of him, Chanyeol," she says between sobs, "I shouldn't have treated you like that. I know you may never forgive me but- _I’m sorry_." Chanyeol lets his tears fall, soaking her shoulder. 

"I missed this," he whispers so softly, but he feels the arms around him squeeze tighter.

~~~  
  


The rest of the week was spent with the strengthening of relationships. Chanyeol and his mother had spent many hours talking and reminiscing, rebuilding the broken relationship of years past. They were slowly growing comfortable with one another, and noticing how much the other had changed. His mother was reluctant, closed off, afraid of the wieght of her actions. And although Chanyeol had been upset and broken, he has Baekhyun now.

And Baekhyun would watch, intervening once in a while for comedic relief, and study Chanyeol. The dork had been able to capture Baekhyun’s heart, no doubt. Baekhyun wasn't sure how, but the way Chanyeol’s just sitting there, big sweatshirt and all, laughing at the television, maybe Baekhyun’s ready to have Chanyeol's heart too.

They had shared their first New Year’s kiss a few days later, all gentle smiles and red noses against the backdrop of the stars. Chanyeol had teared up after, holding Baekhyun so close, whispering _thank yous_ , tickling Baekhyun’s ear. It wasn’t much of a kiss, but it was with Chanyeol, and that’s more than enough. 

“Hey, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says, staring at the ceiling, the glow-in-the-dark stick on stars making him smile. 

“Mm.” A voice mumbles from somewhere under a pillow. 

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

It takes a second, and then the sheets are suddenly thrown off the bed and strewn all over the floor as Chanyeol scrambles to sit upright on the mattress. “WHAT?” 

Baekhyun chuckles, poking Chanyeol’s side. “You know. I’ve been thinking about it. I mean, I already told your mom that I’m your boyfriend,” he runs a hand through Chanyeol’s hair, “And I never even asked you. Sorry about that.”  
Chanyeol shakes his head, tugging on Baekhyun’s arm. “You don’t even have to ask, Baek. _Yes._ ”

"Yeah?"

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Baekhyun. And you like me. For me." he smiles, "I couldn't ask for more."

His grin is so bright, so beautiful, Chanyeol feels his heart skip a beat. Baekhyun cups his jaw gently, eyes swimming with what Chanyeol can only define as love. “Can I kiss you, sweetheart?”

He nods, and it's followed by Baekhyun’s lips on his, pushing him down until Chanyeol’s head hits the pillows again, this time with his _boyfriend_ in his arms. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> if you've read until the end, i hope you like it! i've been writing this for about a year, and although it isn't perfect, it's very special to me and holds so much meaning. to me the whole thing was about growth, which i tried really hard to input. chanyeol was able to accept his mother, even amidst what happened. baekhyun was able to love and trust chanyeol, for once, actually wanting to hold onto someone. chanyeol was able to find love again, both from his mother and baekhyun. honestly, even i grew a lot while writing this. i'm not sure if you can tell, but there's a shift in writing style that i noticed as i edited it. i guess it's because i grew as a writer, and it's really interesting to see that written in front of me. i created this doc almost a year ago, so change was inevitable, but i just found it really cool to see, especially since writing other stories influenced my writing in the latter part of this one. anyway, i hope you enjoyed this <33 lmk what you think or if you have any questions! ❤


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